I have never considered myself to be attractive... Not even cute... Not even close to decent looking.... My friends were always the pretty ones... The ones that did their hair and wore the make~up and the latest styles... I was always the one that would need to be made~up by them before we went out...
Someone said something funny to me the other day... We were talking about some issues that I had with an ex that would always put me down and tell me that no one else in the world would want me so I should be happy that he {chose} me... {whatever}... anyways... So we were talking about that and I was telling him that sometimes I still feel like that stupid, ugly girl that would never amount to much that my ex always told me I was...
He said {oh..are you still hung up on that... I thought I helped you get over it years ago}... He went on to say that in the last 5 years I have been a totally different person from the person that I was with the ex.... This person tells me that: I'm more confident {or at least I appear to be}... I'm more outgoing {did he mean to say that I flirt too much}....
Let me tell you, I have no confidence nor am I outgoing.... Luckily he didn't say that I was pretty... I would've had to jump out of the car and throw myself into oncoming traffic... *lol*
it's funny... i was cleaning out my desk and i came across a bunch of disks... i know right, who still has disks laying around... so i popped one into my computer and lo and behold i found the preceding "post"...
at that time i had been keeping a daily journal of sorts... jotting down my daily movements... and thoughts it seems... lol..
it's funny... this person that i used to be...
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